paraboxical | consequences;

Entry tags:

consequences;

[Who knew that sarcastically saying "I've got a hot date" while removing his Iron Man suit would have such weird repercussions?

Like apparently offending Thor enough for Tony to be smacked around.

Luckily Mjolnir wasn't used excessively and Steve jumped in - though he admittedly had a bit of a disappointed look for Tony and can't anyone take a joke around here?

Either way, it's left Tony sprawled out on the couch, ice pack on his head as he tries to get rid of this feeling of ache. Fending off a thunder god right after getting in the middle of a ridiculous battle really shouldn't be in his job description.

Knowing Fury, it probably is though.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[okay wait hold on this might be a serious moment but-]

Thor? Thor is an idiot who threw me against a wall because sarcasm was beyond his reach. Sure, he's protective and a nice guy, righteous and all that- but do you think I'd be on the couch kissing Thor any day of the week?

No, he's gross and bulky and too slow and heavy in every sense of those words.

I said Steve for a reason because he's a nice guy, really straight-edge, but if we're going to pick any of the Avengers to be a hero, I think it's Captain America and not just because his superhero name has the greatest country on earth mentioned in it.

[a scoff]

But all geniuses are slightly insane.

I'd take you as 'rather insane' as opposed to 'very insane' and destroying Manhattan. And even then, you managed to be pretty hot so in Iron Man's books, you're forgiven.

[A blink.

Ah.

He'd called Thor a hero because Thor is a hero--at least. That's what he's been conditioned to believe.

...But he appreciates Tony's surprising words quite a bit.

...Ha.]

I did not say Thor was flawless. There was a reason I plotted to keep him from the throne a few moments longer, and it was not because I wanted it.

[Which is true. He didn't want to be king of Asgard. That sounded god-awful.

But he smirks at all of this, shaking his head.]

Your priorities continue to impress...though I do not regret my actions, it is...good to see that they were not entirely--villainous.

[...well, he knew he was protecting Asgard, but.

Hrm.]

Good, because the guy's not ready for the throne. Any throne. He's still figuring out the porcelain throne in the bathroom-

[And he rolls his eyes even though his head protests the action.]

Listen, I get the collateral damage thing... and there's absolutely no doubt that people are still angry at you about New York and the Avengers, myself obviously excluded, could throw you farther than they could trust you.

But all that says is you pissed people off and villainy is subjective like everything else on every single planet out there.

You know history is written by the winners, right? That includes what's passed down to the little ones.

[And he decides to punctuate the end of that sentence with a kiss, sealing Loki's lips to give him a long moment to just think about what was said instead of immediately trying to poke holes if he still wants to.

Tony likes to think it's as if sometimes-villains are just sharing a moment when they're... not being villains.]

[He is about to poke holes into that--

But the kiss silences him well enough, and he falls silent, allowing this and his shoulders slump as he allows it to sink in.

Right.

And when they break apart, his murmur follows, ever so tentative--]

I suppose the winners decide on the monsters as well.

[It will take a lot of work to derail the sense of 'monster' that he's been given from such a young age, but.

Logically.

Logically he gets it.]

Do they really?

[he brightens up at that and only semi-mockingly]

In that case, I think I'm the winningest of them all except for Charlie Sheen but he's so 2011.

And so I'd like to now declare killjoys as monsters and Frost Giants as the new Na'vi. Let me call up Hollywood and see if we can get you a movie. Do you have a language? If not I can call up a linguist from USC like they did-

Actually scratch that entirely, teach me Norse first.

[...He snorts, amused. Well, it's light-hearted enough, he supposes.]

Old Norse or the more modern version?

[Of course he knows both--]

But yes, we have a language. But we are gods--we may be understood wherever we are.

Either. Both. All of them-

[And he presses another brief kiss to Loki's lips, entirely entertained now.]

Just teach me.

I figure I could learn a thing or a thousand from a godly sometimes-supervillain always-trickster.

[That makes him equally entertained, tilting his head.]

Old Norse to begin, then.

Nobody else can understand it--except for Thor, do not use it around Thor for secrets--and what better use for a language than that?

Well if you're going to go that far it makes me want to devise a language just for us so even Thor can't get it.

[what he'll say he's not sure but he's already thinking up some ideas]

[An arched eyebrow.]

Or I could teach you a dozen others that he had never before heard in his life. Thor is hardly a scholar, Tony.

[ . . . a nod.]

Right. Other realms. Still working on programming that into my system.

That works out much better than because I was thinking we could tried Earth languages-

But there's a good chance Natasha knows most of them by now, quadruple agent that she is.

[He snorts at that.]

Yes, other realms. Other realms with other languages and other creatures. It always fascinated me, and so I studied such things.

[Shrug.]

See, I would've been right behind you-

If we didn't find out about them in the past... year or two.

[... a sigh and he falls back on the couch]

Long way to go, Earth. Looong way to go.

[He chuckles, lifting his shoulders in a limp sort of shrug.]

Now, now. You cannot be blamed for your world's technological inferiority.

Oh, coming from someone who needed to be introduced to JARVIS and still can't figure a way around him-

[But he's just being a wise-ass and he knows it. So he presses claims another kiss.]

But ideally speaking... if you're willing to help me, I'd very much enjoy getting us on a fast-track to advancement in the technological field.

[He arches an eyebrow at that, and rather imperiously, with his best "king" impression--]

After such insults? I can't imagine why I would do such a thing!

[A raised brow.]

Your brother's gifts to me today were a concussion and a bump on the head- done to defend your honor.

[Come on.]

[...He can't quite bite back the snerk.]

That he would still try to defend my honor is ridiculous.

But very well, very well. Ever have I taken the responsibility of cleaning up after him.

Well I mean... the idea of me being unfaithful is now even less popular with the team than usual now that you're the one I'm seeing and capable of causing a lot of destruction to earth if you had no reason not to.

[But his arms find his way around Loki again, trying to pull him up to the couch not too discreetly because let's face it Tony's not in his best state.]

It's not exactly on my to-do list but--

I guess I can see where they're coming from and maybe why they're concerned with my track record.

[His answer is simple and easy and calm as he climbs up to the couch, sitting beside Tony for the moment--]

I am not concerned.

[Regardless of Tony's track record. Regardless of Tony's personality, his traits.

Simple. Truth.]

Which... says a lot, honestly.

[But Tony supposes... that it makes sense. His eyes wander but he's only ever entertained the idea of taking someone home for a few moments before realizing he's got a god waiting for him.]

Except it's also pretty expected, I guess.

Expected?

[He tilts his head, arching an eyebrow.]

I am not fond of being all too predictable.

I figure not seeing as I wouldn't be here if you were...

[But he decides that maybe he should start voicing what goes on in his head instead of expecting the rest of the world to follow along. So he rest a hand on Loki's cheek now, tilting his head slightly.]

I don't plan on going anywhere.

[...Ah. Well.

He tilts his head along with Tony and--

Smiles. More of a smile than a smirk, perhaps.]

...Excellent. I might very well have had to hunt you down otherwise.

Yeah well, Asgardians and the hunt seem a little too familiar with each other so I'm not exactly eager for that-

Besides, where the hell would I even go?

[And that's actually an incredibly honest question even though he just seems amused.]

That's probably really great deterrent against cheating on gods too.

There really is no place to run, it's like if SHIELD actually followed through on their threats.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject